Sigh.

I'm just too lazy to update this blog. Plus, some things just aren't for broadcast. I've been having lots of those lately, unbroadcastable stuff.

I wish I could think more.

Not that I don't think. I do. At least I try to. But there thinking and then there's thinking. I mean just sitting down, blocking out every external stimulus, letting the mind fly aimlessly, or pounding on a thought until it hurts, or unraveling something until you're left with nothing but shreds. That kind of thinking.

I need to think about my family responsibilities, church stuff, my remaining in a band, music old and new, work, ad infinitum, but there's not enough time. There isn't!

Anyway, I may get all the time to think in the next few weeks, depending on the doctor's recommendation. I may have a whole month off. But I'd rather not. Really. I wouldn't really mind if the doctor says i'm sick, although that would be a major bummer. It's the waiting that's getting to me. I wish they'd tell me if there's anything wrong with me and get it over with.

It would be freaky if I died at age of 27 or 28. Cobain, Joplin, and Morrison all died around that age. Freaky but cool. I would join the ranks of legends.

It's better to burn out than fade away?

I have to whip up an entry quick because someone with his heart broken is waiting for me.

Ahh but how can I be a friend to him right now, when I'm practically bursting with joy? Giddy, in fact.

The medical results showed that there is absolutely nothing wrong with my lungs. Which means that I am free to squander my good health once more.

Also, we spent an awesome hour playing live at NU107.5 last night.

Plus, there's this other thing that I dare not mention.

Not really fit for commiserating tonight. Sigh.

More later.

I am so sorry. I have been neglecting this journal for the past month. I really wanted to update this blog but there just wasn't enough time. As usual, my excuse would be that I have been too busy in my other pursuits, most especially my craft.

So what's new? I just got new bongos. Which strangely coincided with my finding something else:

I have found a new love.

Bossa Nova, baby!

It's sensual, warm, and strangely addictive. I've been alternating Best of Bossa Nova and Natural by Celso Fonseca in my player for the past week, and I haven't had enough.

More. More. More!

A note on Celso Fonseca. Until last week, I have never heard of the guy. This friend of mine scanned his CD once and she liked it, told that it had some cool percussion parts. So I bought it.

Now I am positively hooked. Never felt this excited about new music in a while. I guess the fact that his music sort of captures my current state of affairs helped.

I wish you could hear this particular song, but for now, the lyrics should suffice. It's his song but I'm making it mine.

---
Slow Motion Bossa Nova

You're so good to me
And your love is the inspiration
That I need

Writing songs for you
Is the way I find to thank you
For this

Face the music, dance to the music
Now I hear the sound of music
And your kisses take it closer
To perfection
You're beyond imagination
We're the dream team
You're so good to me

You're so good to me
And I hope to give you back
That peace of mind

That you give to me
And it feels like bossa nova
by Jobim

The solution to my dilemma
You're my Girl From Ipanema
Inspiration for my samba
In slow motion
You're the top, you're my devotion
My slow motion
Bossa nova dream
---

Absolutely brilliant.